Licensed to Disturb

Traveling along packed highways and byways of the south in the winter months, you’ll invariably notice the plethora of diverse license plates. Though they are viewed as a random assortment of colorful representations of individual states, there are certain likenesses that the drivers all have in common. Our northern visitors invariably drive slowly in the left lane. My theory is that they intend to turn left at some point, which might be 30 miles away, but they are in that lane to insure they correct position when they reach their cornering destination. These same slower paced individuals also tend to speed up and slow down in a random surging motion (obviously unable to operate the often complicated cruise control button), none more noticeable as when passing a Reduce Speed Ahead sign and having to speed up to reach the minimum speed. (Apparently the reading of traffic signs is not practiced much in the north.)

Notwithstanding, our southern neighbors obviously suffer from NASACAR fever and seem to be unable to operate a vehicle without speeding, drafting, and committing overly invasive and evasive actions while passing. With all of this in mind Bubbie has some alternative suggestions for a few of the license plate logos so proudly displayed.

Alabama – Stars Fell On
• Foot Fell On Accelerator
Connecticut – Constitution State
• Cut U Off
Delaware - The First State
• Left Lane Forever
Georgia –Peach State
• Let’s Kill Sumpin’
Illinois – Land of Lincoln
• Drive Like Lincoln
Indiana – Hoosier State
• Pull Out - Drive Slow
Maine – Pine Tree State
• We Just Drive Slow
Massachusetts – Old Colony State
• Old Arrogant Apathetic
Michigan – Great Lakes State
• Missed Shift Again
New Hampshire – Live Free or Die
• Live Free in Florida Past Our Expiration Date
New Jersey – Garden State
• Watchu Lookin’ At
New York – Empire State
• Confused Urban Rednecks
Ohio – Buckeye State
• Brake, Gas, Brake
Pennsylvania – Keystone State
• You Think They’re Slow
Tennessee – Volunteer State
• Suicidal
Texas – The Lone Star State
• Laws Don’t Apply
Virginia – Old Dominion State
• Old Dominion 500
Vermont – Green Mountain State
• We Just Suck