The Ghost of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was truly a day of thanks this year. Surrounded by family, knowing that our relationships are bound with love, and realizing how fragile relationships can be and for that matter, life. As fate would have it, Bubbie and Sweet Pea ran into their sister-in-law just days before the holiday. Her husband, Sweet Pea’s brother, is away so they invited her and their children to Thanksgiving dinner. It had been years since they had seen each other and throughout the day, triggered by reminiscence, Bubbie was flooded with memories and emotions, neither of which he had dealt with in as many years.

Uncle Bubba was a sensitive kid that grew up in a rough part of town. He had to learn the hard way how to fight, and that meant fight to win, and to carry himself with bravado so people wouldn’t screw with him. It was counter to his natural kind and caring nature and fun loving spirit. This obviously created an internal conflict in Bubbie that he has struggled with his entire life. After many years of trying to fit into that environment, it became apparent that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom. To make a long story short, by the grace of God and Sweet Pea he moved physically and mentally away from that environment. He worked hard both on himself and at getting ahead at work and has become a successfully happy man. But here he was on this day thinking about the past. He knew in his heart that his old peers would think he’d gone soft, sold out, and given in. He could almost here them, 1200 miles away, talking about how cushy his life was and how he wasn’t one of them in his nice, comfortable house full of luxuries. The gloomy ghost of his past was rising inside him. As much as he knew that their opinions weren’t true, he could feel that it had to be dealt with hastily before it grabbed a hold of his heart.

Here is the thing; more often than not you don’t have control of who you have for your peers, but you do have control over how much you interact with them. It took the toughness that Bubbie learned in his childhood to get to where he is now. It is his bulldogged tenacity to fight to win that keeps him moving ahead in life. Those old peers cannot appreciate the strength and resilience that Bubbie has had to lean on over and over to live life on his terms because they haven’t walked in his shoes. While they were out cheating on their wives, Bubbie was home romancing Sweet Pea. While they were getting divorced, he was working on forgiveness. While they were huntin’ and fishin’ he was at his kids’ ball games. While they were hanging out in the beer garden, he was home working on improving his property; being the best husband and father that her knew how to be. While they were driving home to saw some “Zs” he was driving to night school to earn straight “As” in getting a college degree. In Bubbie’s view, those old peers are old peers because he left them in the past; the future is bright, life is good and he has so many things for which to be thankful.

Stupid Begets Stupid

Bubbie bellers, “What in the world is going on?!” as he throws the newspaper down on the kitchen table. “They’ve arrested a dang thirteen-year-old boy for farting!” It’s true; in Stuart, FL. Can anybody tell me what law was broken? Was there a debate on the floor of the Florida Legislature with an outcry for justice? In Bubbie’s view, this is just another example of the dumbing down of America. Idiots and morons are running the country and ruining our lives and it crosses all party lines.

Bubbie walks out to his garden in silence and begins working; his mannerisms and energy still speak volumes. He could’ve ranted and raved about the stupidity of it all. He could have cried out for common sense. He could have expounded on the implications of these actions on the future of that boy’s life. He could have questioned how the “adults” involved can sleep well at night. But you might as well talk to a wall. What and despicable and crazy world it is.

Sunflower L' Biscotti

Uncle Bubba and Sweet Pea sit quietly sipping their aromatic morning cup of Joe. Bubbie lazily reaches over and takes a biscotti from a tin on the table. He can smell the anise and he raises it to his lips to partake in bite of the hard biscuit. The almond flavor tangles with the brewed coffee beans among Bubbie’s taste buds like a summer breeze and pollen in a patch of wildflowers. Life is good. His mind drifts to thoughts of his sister, Sunflower.

Sunflower lives 1155 miles away but two siblings could never be closer. They talk to one another for hours on the phone, usually late in the evening after many a long and stressful day. Sunflower loves to bake, especially those I-talyan treats, and quite often sends Bubbie a care package of some delicacy she has created. He snaps off a second bite he thinks, “she loves me.” My Lord, what a thought! Is there any better thought; to know someone somewhere loves you? You may not be able to see them because of the long distances between, but to hold a tangible object that was created just for you... you know you are loved. Bubbie will undoubtedly call her to thank her--again; but to pay it forward he knows that the best thing to do is to look for someone today to help or at the very least know they are appreciated. It’s gonna be a good day.

Diversity of a Perception

Uncle Bubba overheard one of them diner conversations where the public at large is a pseudo expert on any issue. This one happened to be on recognizing diversity within our American culture. The alpha demagogue of this discourse was a confident man of African ethnicity and among the several participants was a slender, middle aged, Caucasian man. The primary alpha orator shared his experiences in the service and how often he felt like he didn’t fit in because of the stereotypes associated with his ethnicity and skin color. He shared his opinions on the experiences of different races. He was obviously bothered by a lifetime of feeling like he never quite fit in. He expounded about America being a melting pot and how we should celebrate our human diversity. Someone brought up Dr. Martin Luther King Day and Black history month; they discussed how often non-black people complained about such things. Alpha man shared how he struggled with this all his life, finally settling in his mind that everyday is the White Man's celebration day. That’s when his Caucasian counterpart piped up and apologetically stated that there were no white men worth celebrating. OK, this is the comment that got Uncle Bubba’s goat.
“Like it our not,” he thought, “you white apologist; this country was founded and built by many great ethnically diverse white men with the help of many ethnically diverse, multicultural Americans.”
You see, in Bubbie’s view, this is the problem with forced celebrating of diversity in a society; it is distorted by one’s perception. Uncle Bubba can sympathize with the alpha man of African ethnicity in his lifelong confliction of racially motivated repression, but he can’t experience it. The same holds true for the alpha man; he cannot know what it is like to be a Caucasian man in America. All have trials, all have troubles; we have more in common than differences. So celebrating diversity in America must include everyone, even the Whites. Uncle Bubba finished his black coffee and swung his leg off of the stool to head for his truck. As he passed the group he smiled and asked,
“Which do y’all want most, recognition of diversity or equality; cause y’all can’t have both.”
The men looked blankly at him as he paused, tipped his cap and walked out to his old pickup.

Say No To Jack

Bubbie rolled his iron horse up to the intersection and stopped as the signal was red. He noticed a small sports car passing by. As it got closer he recognized it to be a little MG, which is a British sports car. Then he noticed the license plate displayed a union jack; the British flag! Not only that, but the driver had the convertible top down and a union jack flag strung as the car’s bikini top, just sailing in the wind! A disgusted Bubbie looked around at the drivers of the other vehicles around him. Where was their disgust; where was the outrage? This flag is a symbol of our oppression! It represents the primary determinant of democratic, American traits and capacities and denote an inherent superiority of an imperialistic regime! We were once servants to this kingdom to which many of our forefathers gave their lives to free us! And now this “chap” can just ride around in his car and display that offensive symbol with no recourse? Where is the justice?! We should be able to enjoy the freedom of our democratic society and celebrate the honor and courage of our oppressed ancestors without having to look at this offensive symbol.

The Last Hero

The sun was going down but that last bright light of the early evening shown bright on Bubbie’s face. It showed a weariness. The lines were less lines and more crevasses and the skin on his face seemed to hang just a little looser like its musculature had given up its support. He was talking about some issues at work that were unseemly and his lament in having to go along with it to, “be a good employee.” But the sadness in his eyes told the story of a man caught in a day and age of which the ethics that he was raised are as burry as the early Technicolor films of his childhood. There was an era when the heros of the big screen were rough and tough, but stood strong on principle and always chose dignity over dishonor. There was John Wayne in so many roles, Clint Eastwood, even Burt Reynolds in “The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing.” Even if they were on the wrong side of the law their principles were noble and their resolve strong. These stories were born of the American spirit, the stories of which had been past down for nearly 200 years. Principles mattered, courage mattered; ethics mattered. The noble manner of their onscreen heroics translated into many a young man’s internal daily dialogue. I could virtually see that dialogue playing in the back of Bubbie’s mind; the movie flicker in the back of his eyes.

I suppose that this is the invisible line we all trip over at some point in our lives; that tipping point when our experiences and ideals don’t match with the world we live in. And I bet that if you asked Bubbie, he’d wonder about the ethical or positive influence of role models that kids have today; rappers, video game characters, or Harry Potter. Are these the heros that will influence, and program the leaders of tomorrow?

I hope for Bubbie’s sake he doesn’t let his guard down. I hope he sticks to his ethics and lives his life on the terms that have seen him through his wonderful life. I pray that he finds the strength to do the right thing as he knows it, and I know if he does...when he does, he has the resolve to see it through. He is the last hero.