Mr. Perfect

No matter how good one tries to live their life, there are trials and tribulations the come along to shake things up and rock the boat. Some of them are small and insidious like a mole burrowing through your flower garden. Others, like the lyrics of many a rock song, will rock you like a hurricane. Uncle Bubba had just such an encounter not so long ago. While within the throes of an argument aimed at evoking a visceral reaction and putting Bubbie on the defensive, his foe declared that he, Bubbie, thought that he was perfect. Bubbie shared with me that at the time the accusation was made, he realized that the person was setting a trap for him that he deflected and he did not address the comment. But in speaking with me about it, he said that in an odd way it was a punch in the gut. He felt that he was getting busted for putting his best foot forward. After all, he never said that he was perfect, ever. He doesn't even think that he's perfect and knowing him as I do, I know that this is true. He is a humble man that would love to do nothing more than help a brother out. Another endearing quality of Bubbie is his willingness to admit when he is wrong. As he always says, he's all about moving ahead, not saving face. But here are some of the things that stuck in the craw of Mr. Perfect *kidding*. Uncle Bubba grew up in an era when children were encouraged to do their best because life is a competition. It was a social notion that those who worked hard got farther in life, meaning that they got a better job with better pay and better benefits. This would translate into having a nice home and the accompanying amenities, and a beautiful wife. Bingo! He played sports and won awards and trophies for excelling over the competition. He was a boy scout and worked on acquiring badges to attain higher ranks. He was groomed, often against his will, to constantly be achieving the next best thing. Throughout his adult life he has followed this format for which he was trained over and over, sometimes failing but often achieving whatever he was attempting to accomplish. It's the curse of the ego; more, more, more. And as you may know if you've read this blog, that he is not one to rest on his laurels. Bubbie finds joy in exploring, learning, and discovering new things. He is vigilant of his own potential shortcomings to see if there is any area for new growth, which we know is a never ending quest due to our human fallibility. Uncle Bubba mentioned that he heard of some cave paintings that were discovered in France that are 35,000 years old. There is evidence that someone worked on and touched up some of the paintings 5,000 years later, but that was still 30,000 years ago! So in Bubbie's view, that is evidence that it is in our DNA to want to keep improving, and achieving to attain our best.

Aside from this, Bubbie told me that the thing that annoyed him most about his adversary was that he was being judged by someone who really didn't know him. That person had never walked in his shoes. He was demanding that Bubbie give him respect, yet was doing nothing to deserve it. Had he taken the time to get to know Bubbie a little better and had considered Bub's point of view, he probably would have tried a different tack in dealing with him. Bubbie's view is this on that, take ownership of your own stuff and before you point the finger at someone else, look in the mirror. And if you feel that you really want to accuse someone else for your problems, make sure you consider what they are going through as well.