Holiday Hangover

It’s been a while since I’ve visited with Uncle Bubba. Life often gets in the way of so many things that we’d much rather being doing; doesn’t it? Fortunately, we have the power to change that and we can get back to where we’d rather be with a little desire and determination. So I took a ride out the long dirt road to Uncle Bubba’s and Sweet Pea’s home in the country. As is routine they invited me in and the aroma the floated on the air was intoxicating as always with Sweet Pea’s cooking. On this winter’s afternoon she had a pork roast simmering in ginger ale, honey, dijon mustard and spices in a crock pot. We all took a seat at the kitchen table and visited; catching up on the lost days since we were last all together. The holidays have just past and the lethargic hangover is coming over us as the blah malaise of the winter days fold into one another. After all of the anticipation of the new year and new beginnings, it seems that we’re still waiting in less than enthusiastic baited anticipation.
“But for how long?” Bubbie asks. “I reckon that at some point we realize that it’s up to us; we have to get up and make things happen.”
That’s sage advice that we all know but often have to be reminded of. It always seems to be a little more poignant to me coming from a reasonable, plain and prudent person like Uncle Bubba.

As we sat in their cozy home and talked my thoughts kept returning to the event; sitting with good folks and visiting. It seems to be a lost, or if not lost, a waning custom. For one thing it takes time. One has to slow down and be committed to making the effort to get together and engage in undistracted and polite conversation. It’s nice; enjoyable even. And I always come away from each experience feeling as if I’ve gained something. Bubbie and I have talked about this very thing time and again and I recall him saying, “A lazy man don’t roast any game, but the diligent feast on the riches of the hunt.” It’s a paraphrased verse from the bible; Proverbs 12:27. It’s also the one of the off key statements of candor that Bubbie makes that sticks with you. Obviously it’s his way of saying don’t be lazy. Sure, easier said than done; but always worth it.

I must admit that I came to this visit because I recently found out that a dear friend of mine had passed away while I was out of town. Few people knew of it. One of Kenny's last wishes was that he didn’t want to raise a fuss so his wife kept it low key. I only found out about his passing by chance when my wife ran into his wife in the grocery store. She returned home and delivered the sad news. Why is it that we only get a clear picture of the important things in life when some tragic event pops up? For me it’s the people in my life, my relationships that mean the most. We’re always going to stop in a visit this person and invite over that person, but it seems that we seldom do. We have too many “me” things to look after but as soon as we get those things done and out of the way we’ll make time for others. Yeah right. I reckon that’s backwards folks and I’m as guilty as you. We don’t know when someone’s passing or even our own will come. Maybe that’s the point, that if we bury our heads in our own crap we won’t have to think about it. So how’s that working out for ya? Me? Not so good. I’ve found out over and over again that I usually get what I need much faster if I’m helping others. Something I heard Zig Ziglar preach countless times much later in my life. But too soon I fall back on old narcissistic habits and the cycle goes ‘round again. But I can promise that I will never stop trying to get on a new cycle and stay on it.

In talking to Sweet Pea and Uncle Bubba, he mentioned that he was recently chatting with someone about trying too hard. The person was worn out from trying and getting very little in the way of progress. This person was sure that if she just hung in there and kept trying that sooner or later she’d get the result that she was after.
“True enough.” said Bubbie, “But sometimes we have to learn to let go. Sometimes we have to realize that we’ve hit a wall and it’s time to take a new path. Didja ever notice that y’all often get what ya wanted as soon as y’all stopped looking for it?”
I had to admit that it was true. How many times have my keys turned up after I’ve torn the house apart 3 times without finding them. Then after I’ve given up and got focused on other things, I find them by chance in the most inconspicuous place. Or like they say, you never find your true love until you’ve stopped looking for them. In Bubbie’s view it’s because you have to give the Universe a chance to breathe. So here I go. I’m bucking the system and making things happen. I am determined to start new beginnings while fostering my relationships. No sir, no hangover here. It’s time to feast on the riches of the hunt.