Death Of Shame

"Personal integrity!" Uncle Bubba yelled in his enthusiasm of his story telling. "Remember when your mama would say, 'You should be ashamed of yourself'? Probably not because that's a danged lost expression."

I told Bubbie that I couldn't recall the last time that I've heard that expression used but I'd like to think that it's because I've lived a life of personal integrity and behaved in such a way as to not warrant such a reprimand.

"Yea, that's the way y'all outta be," said Bubbie, "but the way things are today, people publish their trash online for the whole world to see. What they should be ashamed of they twist into a humble brag."

Uncle Bubba was upset because he had been doing business with someone and he thought that they had more or less a gentleman's agreement on the terms of that business. Uncle Bubba had known this person for years and they had spent many hours discussing honor and truth, and commiserating over the fact that things aren't what they used to be; like when a person's word was their bond. Yet now the deal that they shook hands on had broken down and Uncle Bubba was left holding the bag. It's a common story really. If the person comes out on the winning end they say, "It's just business." but if they come out on the losing end then it's a travesty of justice. Too often the "It's just business" person is used to robotically repeating that well rehearsed line, they're used to taking what gains they might accrue and moving on. But this time it was a little more personal than that to Bubbie; the money wasn't much but this was a broken trust.

"I know that," Bubbie barked, "I know about business but the man should have been ashamed."

When Uncle Bubba was a youngster, he had a good friend named Johnny. Johnny was a year younger than Bubbie and a grade behind in school. This meant that Bubbie attended high school one year prior to Johnny showing up and that meant that he had older friends, school friends, the friends from classes and sports, kids he'd hang out with in the halls between classes and go to lunch with. The following year when his good friend Johnny arrived at the high school, things didn't go so well. For whatever reason Bubbie's school friends didn't like Johnny. They teased him and ignored him, which left Bubbie in a precarious predicament; should he be a good friend to Johnny or go along with his school peers?

"I ain't proud of it." Bubbie declared. "I tried to burn the candle at both ends. I hung around with Johnnie outside of school because we were really close friends but then I kinda ignored him in school to hang out with my other friends. It was a hard lesson."

Johnny was crestfallen by the betrayal of his best friend. He stopped trying to hang out with Bubbie and ignored him back. He went so far as to avoid him at every turn. Bubbie felt lower than a tick on a snakes belly. He eventually gave into his conscience and asked Johnny for his forgiveness and chose his friendship above the peer pressure of his schoolmates.

"I was ashamed to death." said Bubbie. "I know that that's an expression ya never hear either but that lesson changed my life. I learned about having integrity and doing right even when it might have been the hardest thing to do."

In mid-life Johnny passed away and went to be with the Lord far too early. But Uncle Bubba never had to live with the regret of having abandoned his friend. They had many great times together; times they never would have had if Bubbie had only thought of himself. In Bubbie's view, it's the death of shame that's eroded our moral fabric like moths in a linen closet. We should be giving, thoughtful people and if we slip and fall into the snares of the devil then keep our integrity, get up, shut up, and turn things around before it's too late.