Screwed, Blued, and Tattooed

Uncle Bubba was driving his ol’ pickup truck through town with the radio on. He was just running an errand, you know, aimlessly driving with a few mundane thoughts drifting through his somber brain. He barely noticed the commercial innocuously buzzing on the airwaves. It was something about a tattoo parlor but it didn’t click in his consciousness until the tag line said, “If you love it, ink it.”

“Oh my gosh!” Bubba thought, “There ya go!” You see, that sums up the conundrum that’s been perplexing him for some time. It seems that these days, everyone from teenagers to middle aged, and that middle is ever so close to the far bottom of the “over the hill” age, has some patch on their carcass tattooed. And here’s the question; do they get the tattoo to accentuate the body part, or do they get the tattoo to cover up the body part? LIke, what is it they are trying to show off; the bizarre choice of personalized artwork or the hair’d-over kankle or flabby scapula back-flap that it adorns? In Bubbie’s view, he don’t wanna see either! What is it about a woman’s protruding, jello-like spare tire that makes her stamp it like a USDA approved side of beef and then display it for all the world to see? What statement is she trying to make? “Hey, look at me! I am a lazy, unfit, overeating glutton, and proud of it! And I celebrate the marvel of me by permanently inking my flesh to show you!” Uncle Bubba digresses. He’s lived long enough to know that he will never know some things. Heck he’s even got a few old tattoos himself, but in his era tattoos were a statement of nonconformity. Isn’t THAT ironic! A tattoo branded a man a rebel.

In Bubbie’s view, a tattoo is a personal choice. And with all choices, they come with the responsibility of ownership and living with the resulting consequences.