Home For The Holidays!

Uncle Bubba made it home for the holidays. He was up every hour on the hour the night before in anticipation of getting the heck outta Dodge. When he got to the airport it was once again crowded. He waited in a long line with stressed out businessmen and fighting couples to check his bags and noticed an Army dude two people behind him in line. He asked the cammo'ed feller when his flight was and it was earlier than Bubbie's so he invited Joe Army to move up in front of him in line. Would you believe some people were giving snarky looks about that?! Sure, of course you would because that's the world we live in, the self centered America that we've all created. Bubbie was surprised when the couple that was spatting just in front of him eventually noticed the soldier and let him ahead as well. But the next man tried in vain to keep his head turned and not give notice and thus his precious place in line away. He succeeded in holding his place and proving that he is the jerk that he appeared to be.

Finally, after shuffling along in the long serpentined line, it was Uncle Bubba's turn at the baggage check counter. He set his first little suitcase on the scale and handed the lady his ID. She scans it and puts a tag on the bag. She pulls the suitcase off the scale and slings it onto the conveyor. Then Bubbie set his big suitcase on the scale and she's like, "Uh-Oh, it's one pound over. Take something out." He's looking at her like "seriously?" And she's looking at him like, "yes!" So he unzips it and of course all of his dirty, smelly clothes, socks and skivvies are on top because he chucked them in last, never expecting to open the suitcase until he arrived home. So Bubbie angrily reaches around in it trying to pull out something not so embarrassing and when he does she's says that it's OK now. She pulls it from the scale and abruptly flops it onto the conveyor. She yells over his head, "I can help the next person down here!"

Bubbie is left there a little stunned and quite annoyed, standing with a couple wadded up shirts and a goddarn beard trimmer. Great. Now he has to carry these on the plane with him. Lesson learned; put the big suitcase on first. Then you can stash any leftovers in the smaller one. By the way, how much UNDER weight was that small one? They couldn't average it out? What a bunch of dumb-asses! And what about the fat dude that sat next to Bubbie on the plane, the one that spilled over into Bubbie's personal space?!!! He's more than one pound overweight! Did they charge him more? There's not much worse than flying for travel. Yes, it's fast and that's awesome, but...

Bubbie collected himself and looked around for an escape route of which there was none so he had to excuse himself back across through the line of future, anxious, baggage checkers to the even more anxious security line. He took a moment to try and stuff his extra shirts and beard trimmer into his computer carry-on and while doing so, several rude people cut in front of him in line. He reckoned that he should have stayed right on the bumper of the dude in front of him but oh well, too late now. He considered making a comment but it was barely six in the morning and he just wasn't up for it. When they approached a point in the line where it split in two directions, the couple that jumped ahead of Bubbie where perplexed on which way to go. They were discussing the options and leaned towards the right line that appeared to be moving faster at the moment but zigzagged towards the front. Bubbie stepped up along the left side of the rude couple to assist them in their decision and they went for it; Bubbie was glad to be rid of them. He smiled as they kept looking in his direction to gauge if they had made the right move or not. Bubbie thought, "Some people are so stupid. What does it matter? We're all getting through the line when we get through the line." Eventually Uncle Bubba made it to the front of the security a line. The poor feller in front of him was as nervous as a canary in a cage full of cats. Bubbie gave him some space and told him to take his time, there was no pressure. While Bubbie was waiting his turn the dude behind him was trying to reach around him and grab a plastic bin! Bubbie said, "Excuse me, but you'll have to wait your turn. I need about 4 of those bins, and you aren't going anywhere until I do."

Uncle Bubba made it through the security line and quickly gathered his belongings. He found a bench to the side of the crowd and got himself redressed and his belongings back in his carry-on bag. He headed for the gate and noticed the rude people from earlier standing at the TSA counter with their arms out being scanned and patted down. Ha ha! That's karma!

On the other end of his flight he peaked around the chubby fellers sitting around him saw the familiar surroundings out the plane windows as the jet touched down. He was home! He knew that Sweet Pea was waiting for him in the airport and he couldn't make it there fast enough. He exited the tram and saw her standing across the room, her radiant beauty as stunning as any shining star. He hurried towards her and she turned to see him approaching and broke into a beautiful smile. He grabbed her in his arms and gave her a long and proper kiss. She smelled like a piece of heaven. In Bubbie's view nothing else matters for a time; Uncle Bubba is home for the holidays! Merry Christmas!